Dispatch from the Zombie Apocalypse

Well, we’ve somehow managed to survive an entire full week of Apocalypse brought about by the wanton disobedience of some in our fair nation to the Will of Dear Leader.  You know, what the wise men in the media and the Dem Party solemnly assured us would be the greatest catastrophe in the history of our country since the Civil War – or perhaps ever.   Millions of corpses strewn across battlefields throughout the country as brother wars against brother,  the Four Horsemen unleashed, plague and famine across the land, rivers turned to blood, demon resurrections, Deadites stalking the earth to feast upon the living – or, okay, anyhow, you get the idea.

Yet somehow, amid the rubble and carnage, teh interwebz miraculously continue to function, allowing me to spread this message to the masses.

All media hype to the contrary, the government “shutdown” is hardly some unprecedented new horror in America.  Prior to the current shutdown, the government had “shutdown” a full seventeen times since 1976, including eight times under Reagan, and twice (including a 21-day shutdown) under Clinton.  (“Shutdown” is somewhat misleading, as the majority of government continues to function fully during this period.)

Yet somehow, those occurrences failed to unleash Armageddon, or even a new War Between the States, nor did they even put a dent in the prosperity of the ‘80s and ‘90s.

Okay, you protest, maybe it’s not the end of the world, but there’s still plenty of unnecessary suffering and inconvenience.  Lots of unnecessary government workers will have to wait on their paychecks, and look at all those poor old WWII vets shut out of their own memorial!

And it’s all the fault of those crazed, radical, wild-eyed Republican right-wingnuts who are acting like little children throwing a tantrum if they don’t get their way, stubbornly refusing any concession to the perfectly wise and reasonable demands of Obama.

Except that in actual reality, the Republicans in Congress have made just about every concession to Dear Leader’s demands, including full funding of Obamacare, showing all the backbone and defiant resolve of a bowl of tapioca pudding, and are now merely demanding delays in the implementation of Obamacare.

(With few notable exceptions, Republicans in the House and Senate have shown near zero willingness to fight against a law which blatantly defies the Constitution of our land – yes, despite how the SCOTUS and that traitorous little weasel Roberts ruled – and is unpopular with most of the American people.

It’s time for the Republican Party to find a new symbol.  The mighty elephant is one of the most magnificent creatures to walk God’s earth.  They should stop disgracing that noble beast, and replace it with something appropriately spineless, brainless and squishy – like a worm or a slug, willing to be trampled by a jackass.  Frankly, if the GOP can’t find the balls to stand for anything, it deserves to go the way of the dodo – or the wooly mammoth, to use a pachyderm example.  The Party may be old, but there’s not a damn thing grand about it these days.)

It’s King Obama (wait, I believe we still officially use the title “President”) who’s playing my-way-or-the-highway, refusing to make even the tiniest concessions to the opposition.   (This is the Prez who ran back in ’09 promising to “reach across the aisle” and unite the country.)  Now he “will not negotiate with those people.” (You see, he’s only willing to negotiate with reasonable folks, like brutal Islamist dictators.)

This is contrary to every previous president, who actually negotiated and made concessions to end shutdowns.  He is also the first to demand the closure of the WWII memorial, which is privately funded, and has remained open under every previous government “shutdown.”  It’s another shamelessly cynical exercise of Dear Leader’s “maximize the pain” principle to bend people to his will.

Obama wishes to rule as a complete despot in blatant disregard to any and all constitutional restraints on power.  Those cowardly Republican “leaders” afraid to stand up to him are worse than worthless, and all the mindless media zombies who voted for Dear Leader and support his every despotic seizure of power – yeah, I’m talking about you – are a cancerous rot on the face of our dying Republic.

(So many on the left who spent the Bush II years screaming about how Bush was Hitler and “Dissent is the highest form of patriotism,” now support every despotic increase in federal power, and will tolerate no dissent from their Dear Leader.)

Frankly, our out-of-control federal government should stay shut down, and those with unnecessary government jobs should look for work in the private sector, rather than off the public dole.  (So much of our Leviathan State is in fact unnecessary.)

Our current soft tyranny did not come about by force of arms, but because We the People have allowed it, becoming unthinking zombies rather than a vigilant free citizenry preferring freedom to easy dependency.

Have a nice day.

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